OK, so my 11yr old son has been asking for a long time to have his hair dyed purple. I gave in mostly because I thought it was no big deal. It's summer, he has no where to go, and I figured if he got it out of his system now he would be past it by high school. SO we went and bought a drug store kit complete with peroxide. That was a disaster. It turned out something between light purple and pink and some kinda strange orange color. So today we went to the "fabulous" Hot Topic and got some very dark purple demi dye to go over it. We spent an hour prepping, and an hour coloring, and long enough rinsing for me to get completely soaked. Now it looks great, even if I do want to call him Grape Ape all the time.
But that wasn't the highlight of my day. I grew up with hippies and such, so running around in my birthday suit and being comfortable with me was second nature. My son, how ever, is kinda a prude. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. He is modest, always wears at least boxers and a shirt at all times times.
Now don't get me wrong. I wasn't in the shower with him or anything, cause that would be gross. But while he was in the shower I just reached in and made sure all the dark dye the satined my tub was rinsed until the water ran clear. In the process I looked down to make sure the tub water was getting less and less grape coloured, and I noticed his boy bits were kinda dark. I don't make it a habit to look there, so I naturally thought some of the dye got caught there. I told him he needed t wash it off, and he very calmly informed me it was hair, not dye. . My baby has pubic hair! And not just a dusting, but full on man hair! I freaked out, said he could finish, and ran out of the room hyperventilating.
He didn't seem bothered at all, and I tried not seem all calm, while inside I was asking over and over when the hell this happened? He doesn't have any hair under his arms, on his chest, and only peach fuzz over his lip.I just don't understand any of it.So I told a very few choice people, like my mother in law since I don't talk to my own mother. Every one I spoke with all seemed to think it was no big deal. Yeah, just wait. All my friends who have young boys will be calling me when it happens to their kid and I will just laugh at the and remind them of this time.
Long story short, I have read all the books, both by myself and with him. He has had sex ed, and I bought him the what is happening to my body book I read when I was a kid. And it's not like I didn't know he was growing up and everything. But I thought I had at least a good year left before all the raging hormones kicked in.
I am very frightened. And I am having a very difficult time finding people who will tell me the truths about this time in our lives. I know on average people don't like to talk about this stuff, and yet everyone talks to girls and about girls going into puberty. I feel boys are sadly overlooked and misunderstood. I plan to rectify this situation even if I have to scream it from the roof tops. Or at least from this blog. Its just not fair that Moms of preteen boys have almost no support system, and mostly we just hear "oh. don't worry , it's all normal". I don't give a flying pig if it's all normal. I just want someone to talk to about it. About how hard it gets when he is moody. Hoe sometimes he wants to spend every waking minute with me, yet others he doesn't want anything to do with me for days. I want to know when riding a bike became little kid stuff, and when Manga became the reading material of choice.
Don't get me wrong, I love my little man/boy. I want to do everything that is best for him always. But how the hell am I supposed to know what's best for him if no one will talk with me realistically and help point me in the right direction? I don't even know when to buy him his first shaver! I need all the help I can get ( and a few good martinis ) , but until then I will just continue to rant here and hope my meager trial and error knowledge will help some one else.
